Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
a search helicopter?!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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