I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
