So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
