i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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