my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
His hands were made for my vagina.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
