Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
