The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
