week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
