just tell him i said nine months
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
