just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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