I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
cat food counts as protein by the way
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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