And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I need moral support for this bender
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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