Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
