Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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