Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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