Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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