How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
