You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize