I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
