So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize