and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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