Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
