so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They have beer where we have blood.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
