somebody snuck up and got me drunk
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
