Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize