The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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