I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
