I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
