is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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