so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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