They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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