you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
