Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
