We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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