Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
