It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
