I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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