Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
