Your tits are I can't wait for
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i think my cat just said my name.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
