Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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