I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
