can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
