my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
