Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
