I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
tell me about the eggs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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