Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
