shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
