Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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