good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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