The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize