So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
