i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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