she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
