I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
