There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
