All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
