you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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