:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
