Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
