shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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