youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
