I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
