In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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