Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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